![]() Joey Green, the guru of weird uses for brand-name products, is the bestselling author of Polish Your Furniture with Panty Hose, Paint Your House with Powdered Milk, Wash Your Hair with Whipped Cream, and Clean Your Clothes with Cheez Whiz. The New York Daily News calls him “a hyperactive, testosterone-charged version of Heloise.” People magazine calls him the “Pantry Professor.” The New York Times says, “His deadpan explanations end in punchlines that would have a stand-up comic’s audience in the aisles.” A former contributing editor to National Lampoon and a former advertising copywriter at J. Walter Thompson, Green is the author of Joey Green’s Amazing Kitchen Cures, and more than thirty other books, including Joey Green’s Supermarket Spa, The Bubble Wrap Book, The Partridge Family Album, Selling Out, The Warning Label Book, The Zen of Oz, The Official Slinky Book, You Know You’ve Reached Middle Age If . . . , and The Mad Scientist Handbook. He has been on dozens of television programs and hundreds of radio talk shows. He lives in Los Angeles.
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